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My End and My Beginning - Chapter 5

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Title: My End and My Beginning, Chapter 5: Chip
Author: Jess Gaskell
Game: Preceding Mass Effect,
Characters: FemShep/Joker/Chakwas/Anderson.
Content: What if you had a chance to go back and redo the worse decisions you ever made. With a second chance, can Shepard overcome her demons and finally bring the cycle to an end? Follow her as she forms the relationships that will give her something to truly fight for.
Rating: T for some explicit language.
DisclaimerMass Effect and all its characters belong to EA/Bioware. I am borrowing their wonderful characters and setting to put my own spin on the universe Bioware has created. Everything else is the result of my own imagination gone wild!
<--- Chapter 4



Chip


Whatever she'd expected this Jeff kid to be like, reality was not even remotely in line with her expectations. As the scrawny kid hobbled through the restaurant door with leg bracers and crutches, she whispered to Karin, "What's wrong with him?"

"He has Vrolik syndrome. It causes his bones to be extremely brittle. He can barely sneeze without cracking a rib." If it hadn't been for the sincere tone in Karin's voice, Amelia would have laughed.

"And he plans to enlist?" she wasn't trying to be an ass, but looking at the boy hobbling towards her, she could in no way imagine him as a marine.

"Not everyone that enlists wants to be on the frontline. There are a lot of critical non-combat roles that The Alliance would be non-functional without." Despite the warm tone to Karin's voice, Amelia definitely felt like an ignorant ass now.

"Yeah, I guess; what does he want to do?"

"He wants to be a pilot. He's largely grown up on Arcturus Station; his mother's a civilian contractor, so he's grown up around ships."

"Civilian? I thought you two met in the academy?"

"We did, but when she had Jeff she retired from the Alliance. I think a lot of the pilots loved how interested he was in flying, so taught him to fly at an early age, he's apparently very good."

"It's cool, that he's not letting his disability stop him from doing what he wants to," there was a hint of admiration in her voice that made Karin smile.

Karin waved to catch her friend's attention from across the restaurant. As they reached the table Karin and the other woman hugged, "Oh I'm so glad you could make it Sarah."

"Me too Karin, it's so lovely to see you, how long has it been?" the other woman said with a warm American twang.

"Too long my friend."

As the boy - Jeff, got closer to the table, Amelia moved round to the chair in the corner, freeing up her chair which had easiest access for him.

He glared at her and said "I don't need a carer, I can choose my own seat."

She rolled her eyes. Oh joy, an attitude...

"Jeff don't be so rude, she was just being considerate," his mother said looking apologetically at Amelia, clearly embarrassed by her son's behaviour.

"It's ok" Amelia smiled at Sarah.

"You must be Amelia. Karin told me so much about you on the transport back to Earth; it's lovely to meet you."

The thought that Karin had talked about her, that she was that important to Karin, that her friend was pleased to meet her, put a huge smile and slight blush on Amelia's face. "Thank you, I'm at a bit of a disadvantage, but it's nice to meet you too."

As Karin and Sarah began to talk among themselves, Amelia decided to break the awkward silence that had fallen between her and Mr. Attitude. "So, Karin said you plan to enlist with The Alliance too."

"Yeah, what of it?" a defensive tone dripped off his words.

Oh this is going to be fun... "You wanna be a pilot right? Karin said you're quite good already."

He snorted "Not what you expected from a cripple?"

Ok, that's enough! "Can I help you with that chip?" she said putting as genuine a tone in her voice as she could.

"What? What chip?" He sounded confused which was what she was hoping for.

"That big one on your shoulder," she said with a smirk on a her face and a glint in her eye. Gotcha!

At that he couldn't help but laugh, "Yeah, please it's getting a bit heavy." And just like that his defensive attitude dissipated.

"So, how did you end up with Doctor Chakwas as your guardian?" he asked; she could tell from the way he asked that he genuinely had no idea.

"Oh, it's a funny story actually. She found me after my family and friends were massacred by batarian slavers, saved my life and took me in; you know, the usual." She kept a light tone to her voice, no point making up a story, but she wasn't looking for a sympathy vote any more than he was, and she wanted to make that clear to him.

He didn't miss her point and replied in an equally light tone "Ahh that old story. So what's going to be your specialty when you enlist?"

"I'm a biotic, so vanguard class marine, got my L3 bio-amp three weeks ago," she surprised herself with the pride in her voice. She had a specialty, and she was advancing in her training at an impressive rate.

"Ugh, biotics, always stealing the limelight from those with real disabilities," he mocked.

"Coming from 'I don't need a carer' boy," she returned teasingly. "So you live on a space station then? That must be cool."

"Yeah me and mom moved there when her and dad split five years ago. I love it, wasn't exactly an outdoor kinda kid anyway, and I got to learn to fly which is awesome. I can fly circles around half the commercial pilots now, which is good cos I'll need to be the best to be considered for flight school, seen as I'll have to skip all the physical stuff in boot camp.

"Ah, I wondered how you'd get round that. Well hopefully you're as good as you are cocky," she smirked "So where's your dad then?"

"He runs a farm with his new wife on Tiptree, a tiny colony out in the ass-end of nowhere; I don't really have much contact with him, but he comm'd me the other week to tell me I'm gonna be a big brother." Amelia could here confliction in his voice, pride and irritation crashing like waves, both trying to gain advantage.

"I had thirteen year old twin sisters; they were executed along with my girlfriend while we were waiting to see a movie." Amelia was surprised at her own admission, she'd wanted to help Jeff see that having a sibling on the way was a good thing, but she hadn't intended to add such personal details.

"What the shit? That's…" he trailed off, clearly unsure what to say.

"Sorry, I just...you're lucky, to have a sibling, enjoy it." she said with a melancholy smile.

"Yeah, perspective, thanks." he said with a warmth in his tone. "So I'm guessing you don't wanna go see a retro showing of Star Wars with me then?" he said feigning ignorance.

She laughed; his dark humour was a refreshing change from the usual reactions of pity and awkward silences. "Tell you what Chip, I'll go to the movies with you if you come bowling with me…"

"Ha, yeah that would so end up with a medevac," he said with amusement.

"Ooo sounds fun," she mocked.

They sat and chatted about plans for the future for another hour, they didn't need to talk about the past, but the future, that was something they had in common.


From where Amelia sat in the corner of the mess hall, she had a great vantage point to overlook the rest of the room. It was something Anderson had ingrained in her from early on: have control of the situation before you even know there is one.

Her table was otherwise unoccupied, which she was getting used to; it was the end of her first week at the Academy and she was yet to make a single friend. She had hoped she'd be able to start with a clean slate, but she'd heard the whispers, her past made her infamous; a freak.

The story varied depending who was telling it; one of the more fanciful versions she'd heard, told of how she ripped twenty batarians apart with nothing but her biotics. Those stories amused her; she could have barely managed to rip a piece of paper apart back then, let alone a batarian.

But then there were the malicious versions: she was a coward that sacrificed her family so she could escape, and that she only got accepted into the Academy because she got the sympathy vote from her conveniently well connected guardians.

Those stories made her blood boil; she'd had to work damn hard to get here. If anything, having the connections had made it more of a challenge, they expected so much more from her, and she worked so hard, to make sure she wouldn't disappoint the most important people in her life.

Amelia was so lost in her thoughts when the recruit sat down opposite her, that she jumped and nearly threw her tray off the table.

So much for having control of the situation...

Oh shut up!

"Oh I'm sorry, I didn't mean to make you jump." the recruit said trying to hide a smirk.

"Errr, no worries, I was just...not used to anyone actually join me." Amelia cringed as she heard the words that had rolled off her tongue.

Yeah, good job, go for the 'Hey, my name's pathetic' line with the hot girl that's paying you attention. That'll definitely work in our favour.

Will you give it a re...hot girl?

Good Lord where is your head at? Focus marine!

As she focused on the girl opposite her, she realised that the girl wasn't just hot, she was stunning. Not a skerrick of makeup on, as was standard for all recruits, and yet she was the most beautiful thing Amelia had seen since...Hailey.

You're staring...

Shit, thanks.

"Sorry, I'm totally forgetting my manners, Amelia – I mean Shepard."

Wow you managed your name, well done!

The recruit smiled and Amelia was sure the room got brighter. "That's a lovely name: Amelia – not Shepard...oh errm - not that Shepard is a horrible name." the recruit blushed profusely and Amelia took advantage of that moment to regain some dignity.

"Well it's not exactly a name for the history books, but I'm ok with it. I might forgive you, if you allow me the same opportunity to ridicule your name?" her cheeky grin clearly put the recruit at ease.

"Jennifer Keen" she said holding out her hand and smiling.

Amelia took her hand as she said "Nice to meet you Jennifer."


"So we could go to the movies? There's a new one out I really want to see, God what was the name again?" Jen said enthusiastically.

Shepard's stomach churned at the suggestion, she hadn't stepped foot in a movie theatre since that day, and she didn't plan to either. "Errm, I'd rather not, I'm not a big fan of them," she said awkwardly.

"But you've happily watched movies with me in dorm. Shepard, if you don't want to go out you can just say, it's ok." Although she tried to hide it, Shepard could hear a hint of insecurity in Jen's voice.

"No Jen that's not it, I...it's"

Tell her.

Why? She doesn't need to know about that shit, it's history.

Of course she needs to know; you can't have a functioning relationship and keep this stuff locked away from her.

A functioning relationship? It's our fifth date…

You know that's not the point, it sets a precedent. Tell her…

"It's just that I get really bad headaches from the big screen, so I avoid going to see movies in the theatre. You know, I think the bowling alley reopened from its refurb last week."

Idiot…

Piss off already.

"Oh, ok. Yeah I guess bad headaches would kinda take the enjoyment out of it." Jen visibly relaxed and gave her a sympathetic look before smiling, "bowling sounds good."


As the shuttle landed in Whistler, Amelia stirred and then jumped when she realised she'd fallen asleep. End of semester celebrations had allowed very little sleep and apparently the one hour transport hop had proved too tempting to decline a quick nap.

She stretched and shook her head to clear the sleep fog, the shuttle door hissed and opened outward, allowing a cold gust of crisp air to rush in and slap Amelia around the face, as if to intentionally help wake her up. Intentional or not, it worked.

She grabbed her duffle bag from the luggage store and stepped out into the cold fresh air. She took a deep breath, there was something about the air in Whistler that felt so pure, untainted by the modern world. She shielded her eyes from the dazzling sun as it reflected off the pristine snow. Her third time here and every time felt as magical as the last. Yup, this was definitely her favourite place on Earth.

As the projectile sailed past the back of her head, missing by only an inch, she ducked and spun around, just in time to react to the next incoming shot. As she dived for cover behind the nearest tree, she scanned the area for her attacker, when she locked eyes on him she readied herself for battle.

Crouching lower she scooped up a handful of snow and began to mould a perfect ball shape, making sure not to pack it too tight, but tight enough that it would hold together well in flight.

"You're losing your touch Moreau, you had a perfect chance with that first shot, now you're dead." she shouted across the space between them goading him to reveal himself.

"Ha, I'm losing my touch? That's coming from the bad ass marine that almost got taken out by a cripple. I thought you were better than that Lia," he yelled back with a mocking tone.

Just as she was about to launch her attack with her now perfect projectile, a familiar voice broke the silence.

"When you two children have quite finished, we have a cab waiting to take us back to the cabin." Amusement rang through the feigned irritation in the sharp English accent.

Amelia smiled at the sound of her guardian and stepped out from behind the tree, when she looked over to where Jeff had been she realised he was gone, she'd barely taken three steps when she was hit dead centre of her left cheek.

Wow you let him flank you, good work soldier…

Screw you, it's not like you were any help.

I'm not here to help, I'm here to mock you.

Ugh!

"You're dead you little shit" as she raised her arm to plant the projectile she still held, Karin crossed her path blocking her line of sight, no way she was gonna make that shot without risking hitting Karin. "Damn it Karin, let me at him."

"Later, Sarah has dinner on, which will be ready in 20 minutes and it's a 15 minute ride back."

"Ugh, saved by the Doctor Moreau...this time." Amelia shouted over Karin's shoulder.

She ran back to grab her duffle bag then walked over to her guardian and hugged her, "Great to see you Karin."

"You too dear," Karin said kissing her on her right cheek and stroking her left, which was still red from the attack.

Jeff joined them as they walked to the cab; he looked across Karin giving Amelia a cheeky but warm smile. "Missed you Lia."

"Missed you too Chip, even though you are a dick," she said with a grin.

When they arrived at the Moreau's family cabin Amelia smiled, as beautiful as ever. The little dock covered in frost, glistening in the sun, the frozen lake begging to be skated on, the stunning snow covered mountains the perfect backdrop for this little piece of heaven, where the four of them had spent the last two Christmases together.

As she entered the warm log cabin, amazing smells overwhelmed her senses, making her realise just how hungry she was. "God that smells amazing Sarah."

"Oh Amelia love, how are you?" Sarah said hugging her.

"So much better for being here, I somehow forgot how perfect this place is. It's absolutely my favourite place on Earth."

"Yeah cos you've seen so much of it, colony girl." Jeff ribbed from the sofa in front of the roaring fire.

"I could see every centimeter of this planet and I guarantee this will still be my favourite place." she said sticking her tongue out at him.

Sarah smiled warmly, "I totally agree Amelia, it's just perfect here."

Amelia began taking the food to the beautifully set oak table. Stepping into this cabin was like stepping back in time to a twenty first century Christmas film, and she loved it.

They ate, drank, talked and laughed all night,; once the oldies went to bed Jeff got out an old chess set, one they had played together many times. Neither of them could proclaim to be chess champions, but they were of similar skill level, which allowed them both to believe they were better than reality knew.

"You up for a challenge Lia? A shot of brandy for every piece lost?" Jeff goaded.

"Pfft, marines drink brandy with their cereal, bring it on Chip."

They played and drank well into the night, until the brandy ran out. They stumbled to their bedrooms arguing in whispers as they went over who would have won had the brandy not run dry. They parted and both fell into a deep slumber, this was a good place, shielded from the rest of the world, full of happiness for them both.


As they stood in Vancouver transport hub a tinny voice came over the tannoy "Commuter transport to Arcturus Station departing from dock D8 in five minutes."

"God Shepard, I can't believe it's the end of our first year already. It sucks we're not going to see each other all summer; I'm going to miss you like mad." Jen said with her head resting on Shepard's shoulder, arms wrapped round her waist.

"I know, I'm going to miss you too baby, but we both know, this summer position Jeff's mom got me on Arcturus is a great opportunity. How else are we going to get the deposit for an off campus apartment?" Shepard, didn't like the idea of not seeing Jen for almost two months either, but she was also looking forward to having two months with Jeff, they hadn't seen each other since Christmas.

"Yeah yeah, you'll be having too much fun causing trouble with Jeff to miss me. I feel sorry for the rest of Arcturus for the next two months!" she said playfully.

"Hey I will miss you, but yeah, I kinda pity the rest of them too," Shepard chuckled.

The tinny voice on the tannoy interrupted them again, "Final call for commuter transport, destination Arcturus Station departing from dock D8 in two minutes."

Jen reluctantly loosened her grip and lifted her head to look at Shepard, she slid one hand up Shepard's collarbone and round to the back of her head. Weaving her fingers through her long copper hair, she pulled her head lower as she tiptoed to bring their lips together. Jen gently brushed her lips against her girlfriend's, Shepard pressed back in reply and brushed her tongue along Jen's bottom lip, Jen accepted the so very familiar request and their tongues danced a well-practiced dance.

Shepard reluctantly pulled back with a frustrated sigh, "You're not helping you know," she said with a chuckle.

"I'm not trying to," Jen replied mischievously.

"Yup, definitely can't wait to have our own place next year." Shepard said with a cheeky smile, "and definitely gonna miss you." she said looking at Jen adoringly.

Jen looked deep into her emerald eyes, "I love you Amelia Shepard."

"Me too." Shepard replied still smiling.

Are you ever going to actually say it back to her?

I do…

No, you say 'me too' or 'ditto'. You only ever say 'I love you' when you're drunk.

So, she knows I love her.

Does she? I'm not even convinced you do.

Well luckily no one asked you.

"Right I really have to go before my transport leaves without me. I'll vid-com you when I arrive ok?"

"You better." Jen said sternly.

They kissed once more, then Shepard grabbed her bag and jumped on the transport ship.

Shepard moved through the decks and found her quarters; the cabin was tiny, but considering she had been sleeping dorm style with thirty other recruits for the last nine months, the privacy was a luxury, however little space there was.

It was a late transport and she'd had a busy day; the journey would take three days from here in a slow transport like this one, so exploring the ship could wait until morning. As soon as her head hit the pillow, she was out like a light.


"What do you mean they declined your application to flight school?" Amelia said infuriated.

"They didn't consider my flight display to be impressive enough to warrant waiving boot camp." Jeff said totally deflated.

"Not impressive enough?" she said incredulously, "you're the best damn pilot on this space station, and you're not even a pilot!"

"Yeah, well they had all these rules of stuff you couldn't do during your flight test, I was the first one up and didn't wanna risk getting disqualified, so kept it within the rules. But when the others went up, the ones that qualified were the ones that broke the rules."

"Ah shit Jeff; you don't follow the rules if you wanna get noticed, and you need to be noticed and stand out from the crowd. You need to show them you're the best damn pilot they'll ever recruit," Amelia said frustrated.

The way the system worked sucked, they gave you rules, but if you weren't willing to break them to prove yourself, then you clearly didn't want it bad enough. She kicked herself for not having told Jeff that. "Are the recruitment reps still here?"

"Yeah, they're leaving this afternoon, why?" he said disheartened.

"Great, plenty of time to prove to them how good you really are" Amelia said slyly.

"What are you up to?" he said cautiously, yet curious.

"Like I said, you don't get anywhere in The Alliance without breaking a few rules, we're going to steal one of those test fighters." she said smugly.

"What the shit Lia? There's breaking the rules and then there's breaking the law!" he sat with his jaw open in shock at her suggestion.

"You want in The Alliance or not Chip?" she goaded.

"Ah, shit…you know my mom's gonna kill us," he sighed "Ok, what's the plan?"

-o-

As the alarm sounded and the station went into alert Amelia smirked, she could get court martialled for this, but she didn't care, this was for Jeff, and she'd do anything for her best friend; so she sat back to watch the show.

-o-

"Report Lieutenant." the gruff voice of Captain Jerrico demanded. The man in charge of The Alliance flight school selection was not a man to be messed with.

The Lieutenant manning docking control replied "Captain, we have an unauthorised departure of one of the fighters used in the applicant demonstrations."

"Open a com channel," Jerrico ordered.

"Aye Sir, line open."

"This is Captain Jerrico, identify yourself."

"This is Jeff Moreau Sir," the nerves were evident in his voice as he spoke over the comms.

Muting the com the Captain turned to look at his second in command, Major Warner, "Moreau...wasn't that the name of one of the applicants from yesterday?"

"Yes Sir, I believe he is the applicant that has a brittle bone disorder so would need to skip boot camp; his application was declined." she replied, a little unnerved at the whole situation.

Jerrico unmuted the com, "What the hell are you playing at Moreau, your application was declined."

"Yes Sir, because I was naive enough to think playing by the rules would work in my favour. Now I'm going to show you what I'm capable of without rules, because I'm the best damn pilot you'll ever recruit Sir." this time he spoke with confidence.

The Captain's mouth twitched at the edges, he didn't condone breaking the law, but he couldn't help but admire the balls on this kid. "You sure as hell better deliver Moreau, or I will be leaving you at the mercy of station security; you have five minutes to prove your worth."

"Thank you Sir, but I'll only need two to convince you."

-o-

As Amelia watched through the panoramic observation window at the mesmerizing display her best friend put on, she registered the crowds that were forming around her; people coming to watch this boy pull off some of the most complex manoeuvres one after the other, like it was nothing. She beamed with pride and whispered "attaboy."

-o-

The Captain stood watching in amazement as this boy pulled off such an impressive display, he was struggling to come up with names of experienced pilots that could pull off what he was seeing before him. "How the hell did we miss this kid?" he demanded incredulously to his second.

"Well, errm, his test flight was, he, errm kept to the rules you set for them. I suppose he didn't want to risk being disqualified." she said uneasily, she hated the way Jerrico selected recruits, it was stupid to discount people that stuck to rules he set for them, and this boy was a perfect example why.

"Hmm, well get his application and mark is as accepted. I'm not letting a kid with those skills go anywhere but into The Alliance."

"Yes Sir."


"Baby have you seen my red heels?" Jen called from the bedroom.

Shepard rolled her eyes, how that woman took three times as long as she did to get ready was beyond her. "They're in the closet where you left them," she worked hard to keep the annoyance out of her voice.

"Got them, thank you. Ta-dah," the voice said from the bedroom door.

As Shepard looked up from where she sat on the couch she stopped and stared. Totally worth the wait...

"Wow...you look, incredible." Shepard managed to say, with a look of awe.

Jen bounded over to her, best as her ridiculously high heels would allow and flung herself onto Shepard's lap "Why thank you, you scrub up pretty well yourself." She said with a look of adoration.

"Damn it woman, all I want to do now is get you out of that dress." Shepard said playfully as she reached round for the zipper on the dress.

Jen slapped her hand away "Not a chance. We're finally celebrating our graduation, already two weeks late, thanks to the reservation waiting list at this place, no way this dress is going anywhere, until dessert." she said with a seductive edge.

Shepard growled into the crook of her neck, "Then we'd better get going before I can't control myself."

"Oh I left my purse in the bedroom; I'll be back in a second I promise."

Shepard rolled her eyes as she watched her girlfriend run off back to the bedroom. Just as she stood up her omni-tool pinged, she had an incoming vid-com. Odd for this time of night, but when she saw the caller ID she answered with a smile, one of her two favourite people in the galaxy.

"Karin, I wasn't expecting to hear from you until tomorrow. How's…"

"Amelia." Karin interrupted her with a trembling voice; Shepard fell silent as the look on Karin's face registered.

"What's wrong?" she said apprehensively.

Karin, took a deep breath and Amelia could see that she was steeling herself for what she was about to say; something was very wrong.

When the woman she loved like a mother met her gaze again, there was such sadness in her moss green eyes, that Amelia found a lump forming in her throat. The last time she'd seen that look in Karin's eyes, was back in the hospital after the quack had condemned Amelia to be committed. It was a look filled with sadness, helplessness and desperation.

"Karin, what's happened?" Amelia said, unable to keep the tremble from her voice.

-o-

As Jen walked back out from the bedroom, she scanned the large open plan apartment for Shepard; she'd expect to find her by the front door, tapping her foot dramatically. When she saw her girlfriend sat rigid and motionless on the couch, an uneasy feeling crept over her.

As she moved closer she realised Shepard had a vid-com link open on her omni-tool, but she couldn't make out who it was from where she stood. As she got closer she saw the familiar face of Karin Chakwas, and when she was close enough to make out the expression on Karin's face, Jen froze. Something was wrong, she looked to Shepard with concern and saw pain and sorrow etched on her face; it was a strange sight, she'd never before seen such raw emotions oose so freely from her girlfriend, and it almost scared her to see.

"Shepard? What's wrong?" she wanted to run over to her girlfriend and hug her, comfort her, but she knew Shepard wouldn't want it, so she stayed frozen in place, staring at her.

Shepard closed her eyes, and clenched her jaw together so tight, Jen was sure her teeth would shatter. Then Shepard whispered something so quiet, that if Jen hadn't been studying her face she would have missed it.

"Oh God, Jeff…"

To Be Continued...


Hey Guys,

Sorry it's been a bit more than a week on this one, I got really stuck on where to take this for a while, as wanting to cover three years in one chapter seemed like a mean feat. I think I pulled it off, I just hope I got it across without confusing you!

I can't thank elmjuniper for beta reading this time cos she's gone on holiday (that girl so needs to get her priorities straight!), however big thanks to my mum for proof reading again for me! But I thank elm for motivating me when I got on a go slow!

Want to see what has Karin and Amelia in such emotional turmoil? Then come back next week! ;-)

Please keep commenting, you don't even need an account to leave feedback, and I do love to hear what people think.

Chapter 6 --->

© 2014 - 2024 JessGaskell
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BlueKosh's avatar
That can't be good... did Joker crash his ship?
Joker and Shepard being best buddies is a bit strange, but well done. It's a bit unfair though to be attacked by him with snowballs, I mean, you can't really fight back or you might break something.
Ah, Ms. Keen is the new gf... good for Shepard that she found somebody, but I'm kind of expecting something to happen to that poor girl as well; being around Shepard doesn't seem to be good for your health.
Shepard arguing with herself was very funny again. You do that really well.